I’m sorry.  I just can’t do it.  I don’t feel that it is right. I cannot do with a clear conscience.  Thank you for the help and work on my behalf in the past but it will not continue. 

Friday the 13^th of January was a long day that started with a 2am bus ride to Maxixe to update my passport.  A few months earlier I had trusted my passport to- let’s just call him Pete with hopes of getting a longer, 6 month visa.  This visit would give me another 30 days; but then next time, if all the paper work (like a new police clearance from the States and other Mozambican stuff) was in order I could get the coveted 6 month visa.  Just think of it, going 6 full months without worrying about getting your passport stamped or leaving the country.  Its one of those things you never think about in your home country, but here it’s a constant stressor/annoyance/ money vacuum/necessary evil.  Living here illegally even seems appealing sometimes…but things like the Holy Spirit and the granddaddy of all fines when I’d try to leave the country deter me.

 Pete works for a lodge and he frequents Maxixe where he updates the passports of many foreigners who work at the lodge.  I went with him in order to better understand all that is required for the 6 month visa.  We arrived in Maxixe before 6am, and nothing was open ‘til 7am when we had breakfast.  After that we took a ferry to Inhambane, where the Department of Labor is.  They were in a meeting and couldn’t sign the paper so we wondered around town for a while…I was so excited to find postcards and didn’t really realize they were over $1 each until I counted how much money I had spent after we left the store.  An hour later we returned to the Dept. of Labor and they were still in this long meeting.  So we just waited at this café and about one hour later Pete went alone to the Department of Labor and returned with the necessary signatures.  As we’re walking toward the ferry he informs me that he paid them 200 meticais for the signatures...and they didn’t want to accept the money in my presence.   Take ferry back to Maxixe.  Next stop: Immigration.  While I am filling out forms Pete briefly disappears.  Afterwards we have a lunch of champions: soft serve ice cream which I was very excited about because you don’t get it in Vilanculos.  Walking to the taxi station, he casually informs me that he arranged ice cream and cokes for the immigration workers…as well as padding their pockets too.  “You can’t look at it like a bribe, it’s just being generous and opening up our hands to them…  If you want them to be nice to you, you need to give them a motive,” he explained.

Efficiency is paramount in the USA.  I never realized how valued efficiency is the States until I moved to a place where it does not exist (unless there’s a bribe).  It’s an unspoken expectation of how America operates.  Its part of good service and it is expected as a normative standard of any operating company, business, restaurant, organization, school, etc.  I don’t think there’s any section of American society that does not carry with it some sense the importance of efficiency.  

Corruption is to Mozambique what efficiency is to America.  It is the unspoken expectation of operation.  I think every area of society is affected by corruption from schools to most government offices.  One friend of mine said his brother, a high school biology teacher, was finally coming to his senses because he had decided to accept bribes.  Bribing is so common within the government that it’s extremely difficult to get anything done without bribes.  They will purposefully delay the process in hopes of getting a bribe.  There simply isn’t a standard of efficiency or accountability here.  It’s just considered normal, and how you get things done.  

So when I found out that Pete bribed people I was saddened, but not surprised.

As we were riding home in the chapa I was super convicted by the Holy Spirit.  I had sinned.  By partnering with Pete I was bribing these people.  And I’m not working for the lodge in any capacity…which was necessary to say in order to get a 6 month visa.   How could I possibly say bribes and corruption are bad and should be avoided if that’s exactly what I was doing?  Am I not contributing to the hypocrisy that turns so many away from the church?   I had been so eager to get a 6 month visa that surely the ends justified the means.  With the Holy Spirit so clearly telling this is wrong…Proverbs about bribes coming to mind and other Scriptures that talk about submitting to government rather than trying to manipulate it and find loopholes, I knew I could not go through with pursuing a 6 month visa or anything else with Pete.  So I told Pete, I’m sorry.  I just can’t do it.  I don’t feel that it is right. I cannot do with a clear conscience.  Thank you for the help and work on my behalf in the past but it will not continue.    In that moment that the Spirit also convicted him evidenced by the sudden and obvious change of his countenance.  He also knows it’s not right.  

So I will be traveling more to be here legally.  This includes going to South Africa every 2 or 3 months for a new tourist visa and more travel to Maputo as well.  This will take at least a few days every month but I trust God to take care of me and provide.  It was refreshing for me to go to South Africa in October, and I trust that God knows what He is doing.  It’s also a financial concern but I know He takes care of me. My heart trusts Him.

 Not until Jesus for Africa is officially registered in Mozambique can I get a longer visa.   Most of the paperwork still needs to be collected, fees paid, and because we won’t use bribes…it will take a while. 

What happened to December?

What happened to December?

Well I don’t really have any excuse for not having a blog up in December…other than perhaps not having anything note worthy or seemingly noteworthy to say. 

I can hardly believe its already 2012. 

To sum up my holiday season I would say it’s the most uneventful holiday season I’ve had in years…which was so nice in some ways because it has given me the opportunity to stop and rest and  focus on the Lord in a way that I know would not be possible if I was in the USA.   Although I have missed family and friends I don’t regret for a second staying here…as that is what I sensed the Lord’s hand in and now I just see how I could be quiet long enough to listen to Him whisper. 

We had our Christmas Day church service…it was fairly small but very intimate, as we definitely sensed the presence of the Almighty that morning.  As Pastor Jaco said “I’d rather have a few people here who genuinely want to be here than a church full of half-hearted people.

One of the biggest things I’m trusting God for is a new place to stay.  I have lived in a trailer on the Rudolph’s property since July and I am ready for a place of my own.  So now I am looking for a new place which is challenging.  Vilanculos is a tourist area and so prices are actually higher here than other places in Mozambique.  I am looking for a place to stay in town with a bedroom, bathroom and kitchen for 3000mets or about $100 per month. Please pray for the Lord’s will and guidance in this.

Since the last few weeks have been a time of rest and seeking the Lord (therefore learning) and I want to share what I’ve learned.

One of the things I’ve done during my time of rest was read The Shack (again) by William Young.   Here are some of my favorite quotes…good food for thought.  In most of them God is the speaker.

There are times when you choose to believe something that would normally be considered absolutely irrational.  It doesn’t mean that it is actually irrational, but surely it is not ration.  Perhaps there is a suprarationality: reason beyond normal definitions of fact or data-based logic; something that only makes sense if you can see a bigger picture of reality.  Maybe that is where faith fits in.

Humans are not defined by their limitations, but by the intentions that I have for them; not by what they seem to be, but by everything it means to be created in My image.

The real underlying flaw in your life, Mack, is that you don’t think that I am good.  If you knew I was good and that everything-the means, the ends, and all the processes of individual lives-is all covered by my goodness, then while you might not always understand what I am doing, you would trust Me. But you don’t.

Ask any person who has a passion to explore and discover and create.  The choice to hide so many wonders from you is an act of love that is a gift inside the process of life.

It is wild and beautiful and perfectly in process.  To you it seems like a mess, but to me, I see a perfect pattern emerging and growing and alive-a living fractal.

My friend Sammy came to visit from South Africa.  It was nice to have him visit and somehow just telling him about what I’m doing here made me realize how much I love God. Typically I will ask God to remind me of His love for me but this time I asked Him to remind me how I love Him…and its been really special.

I’ve learned that…God doesn’t change…He’s always liked surprises and being unpredictable.

If there’s one word to mediate on and live by for 2012 its FAITH.   Lord has challenged me to live by faith…not by sight or my own understanding.  God loves faith.

I have 2 new (to me, anyway) favorite worship songs by Hillsong: “Open up the Heavens” and “All Day”.   “Open up the heavens and let your glory fall….open up our hearts and we will know You, we will know You”

And some Scriptures:

A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.  Proverbs 14:1

Unless the Lord builds a house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.  In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat-for he grants sleep to those he loves. Psalm 127:1-2.

Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.  But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house, and it fell with a great crash. Matthew 7: 24-27

My Mozambican Thanksgiving.

My Thanksgiving in 2009 (have 2 years already passed?) was here in Vilanculos with my World Race team.  It was quite memorable as our plans for the day were erased when Pastor Jaco found out it was Thanksgiving Day…we had quite a meal considering we were in Mozambique with limited resources. I was excited about eating milk tart, a South African dessert and some people even made up a Thanksgiving song.

 Being the only American here this year…I knew it wouldn’t be the same as any other Thanksgiving but still hopeful about the potential the day might have.

Being A Mozambican Thanksgiving…it was celebrated two days later, on Saturday November 26^th. When I started thinking about Thanksgiving I just kept thinking about Tina, a woman from church that I’ve been having bible study with.  I knew the Lord wanted me to invite her and her family to join us for Thanksgiving.  We had to make some changes based on availability of foods and what Mozambicans are used to.   In the end we ate two large chickens, coconut rice, mashed potatoes, stuffing, carrot salad, Mozambican salad, apple pie, ice tea and coke.

Pastor Jaco making the oven out of the old washing machine.  Reusing –a very African thing to do.  We would have used the gas oven inside but there is a gas shortage in all of Mozambique and South Africa.  So all cooking was done over an outdoor fire. We should have gas again and be able to cook inside next year.

Tina making the salad.

Stelio and Rudo playing with legos.

Neyma and her baby brother Jaco.

Rudo, adding flavor to the chicken.

It was a lot of fun to celebrate Thanksgiving with them.  It’s a real treat for some Mozambicans to have a whole piece of chicken to yourself…if they get chicken its usually much smaller pieces.  Initially we thought we’d have leftovers but our guests ate as much as they could and left with full stomachs.  It made me smile to be able to share Thanksgiving with Tina, her 5 children and her parents.

The day also began and ended with interesting findings in the bathroom.  The bathroom is completely separate from the house and is about 30 yards from my caravan.  At 5:40am I had barely woken as I was stumbling out of the bathroom when I felt something furry touch my toes.  Looked down and saw a dead rat...which didn’t really faze me as I’ve become accustomed to seeing rats and I prefer them dead anyway.  I found a shovel and got rid of it.   Then as I was about to go to bed I found a sizable frog who was fighting off  an 18 inch snake whose jaw/head clutched the frog’s neck and was initially hidden under the frog’s head.  Although the frog was certainly injured, it was too big and too stubborn to be swallowed by the little snake.  I left to tell others and when I came back I wished I had stayed to see how the frog escaped.  The frog was 2/3 of the size before (no longer puffed up) but obviously severely injured and would probably die in a day or two.   The cobra was slithering away but we caught it and killed it. 

Likes and Dislikes.

I like that I can frequently see beautiful sunsets over the lake.

I like that I can frequently see Vilanculos’ beach.  It’s a beautiful beach.  The water is already quite warm for swimming though. 

I like that I can see that orange billed and turquoise feathered bird from my window. 

I don’t like the bugs-flies and mosquitoes especially. 

I’m not as fond of frogs as I was when I first arrived here…namely because I see many of them every evening…there are even some living in the toilet.

I don’t like having rats where I live.

I don’t like living without constant electricity…it would be so nice to have a fridge again.  Eating is really different without refrigeration.

I don’t like depending on public transport.  It would be one thing if they had public transport like Europe.  But transport here involves cramming as many people as possible into a vehicle which I don’t like because its uncomfortable and many have terrible body odor as running water is a luxury where I live.

I miss big grocery stores and cheap food prices for a variety of items.

I miss being able to communicate clearly and effectively like I can in the USA. 

I do like that the food I consume here is fresh and natural…ie. I know the mango I ate today came from a neighbor’s tree.

I miss bathing in hot water without taking a bucket shower.

I’m trying to decide if I miss air conditioning or not. Although it is quite hot now, often there is a breeze.  I can get so cold in AC that I don’t miss it so much…we’ll see how I feel about that in a month or two, though.

I’m amazed at how brightly the moon shines here.  It’s incredible.  When there’s a full moon or close to it you don’t really need a light.  In fact moonlight shines in through my curtains…the way sunlight would. 

I don’t like how dark it is without the moon.  I live a few miles from town and so there are no city lights and it is very dark and can be creepy too. 

I don’t like that there are snakes here.  Thank God I’ve only seen three so far and they haven’t been poisonous like the black mamba (deadly) my team encountered here in 2009.

Neutral things- hearing frogs, crickets, etc at night.

Seeing lots of geckos …not crazy about them but they eat bugs so I’ll keep ‘em.

Putting on bug spray at twilight….prevents malaria so I do it. 

Having a tan…I’m quite dark now, actually.

I don’t like how people yell “malungu” (white person) when they see me.

I don’t like that I can’t go into a chapa (public transport) without becoming a topic of conversation.  I don’t like people staring, especially children and I definitely don’t like unwanted male attention I get in chapas and anywhere else I go alone.

I don’t like that I just stubbed my toe.  (It’s getting dark)

On second thought I do miss air conditioning because that would mean I could sleep without sweating.  I could close the windows and wake without mosquito bites in weird places.

I do like that I am learning new languages.

I do like that there is a challenging aspect to just living here.  Somehow I feel that life in America is too easy.

I don’t like the assumption that I’m rich simply because I’m white.  Although-compared to most people here I am rich.  Its just challenging because we (locals and foreigners) tend to look at each other through economic lenses rather than anything else. People will ask for things with an attitude of entitlement…you owe me this…which I think is sadly due to foreign aid that has come in to help….giving men fish rather than teaching them to be fishers.  I am challenged by this..how to give wisely and promote economic independence rather than dependence.  Plus there are so many needs.

I like that ministry teams come through and help …the group that was here last week was such a blessing.

I like the trying different tropical fruits here..like the fruit from a cashew tree, the fruit that resembles little apples- about an inch in diameter, an unusual fruit called marsala that almost has a fluoride taste to it.  Plus fruits I’ve had like mango and papaya which are far more abundant and better tasting here that what you typically find in the States. 

Drama in Pambarra

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven,

And do not return without watering the earth…

So shall my word be which goes forth from My mouth;

It shall not return to Me empty,

Without accomplishing what I desire.”

Isaiah 55:10-11.

This was my verse of the day for Thursday, 10 November 2011…and how I needed it that day. 

I read it before heading to Pambarra, where I typically meet with some church members and share the word of God with them. 

  Two Thursdays ago when I met with them it was great...many came and more than that the Spirit confirmed this is where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing.  The week after that no one came until it was already time for me to go and then it took me more than 2 hours to get home. It was just a frustrating day. 

Not knowing what would happen, the verse gave me the encouragement that I needed to go on.  I was reminded that sharing the Word of God is never in vain because it does accomplish the Lord’s purposes even if I am clueless as to the specifics of his purposes.  I arrived a little early and no one was there…about 30 minutes later the lady who lives there, Mama Laurentina shows and then leaves to talk to her neighbor, Mama Carlota who also comes to the bible study.  A few minutes later Antonio, Carlota’s husband shows up and is talking with Laurentina…Then he tells me to come to his place and we’ll simply have the bible study there.  Once I arrive there he informs me that Laurentina’s husband no longer wants to have the bible study at his house or even for Laurentina to be involved.  Antonio told me it’s more of Felizarda’s nonsense and he’s not afraid of her and from now on the bible study can be at his house. 

Over the past few months the number of people coming to church from Pambarra has dwindled from about 30 to about 6 people- largely due rumors, manipulation, threats, and confusion that people (who still come) attribute to Mama Felizarda. She’s even given death threats to three people who attend church.  She used to attend church and then she got sick.  We prayed for her healing and after about a month without her really showing any signs of recovery Maria (Pastor’s wife) suggested that there’s a spiritual problem.  Not much later we found out that she’s visiting the sangoma (witch doctor) and from there everything just seemed to go downhill.  This was in September, and since that time there has been quite a bit of drama in Pambarra.

Its been disappointing that many are no longer coming to church.  However, I see God using this as a sifting process, distinguishing people who are committed and not afraid  from the rest who used to come.

Please pray for this situation.  Its been one of the biggest challenges in local church since I have been here.  

money, money, money

I have been dreading writing this for a while now, but I know I need to sit down and do it.  Reason being is because it’s about money…which for me at least is never an easy or fun topic to address.  However it’s something that I need to do and typically comes with the territory as far as missions is concerned.  The bottom line is I am dependent on people to give so I can be here.

Ultimately it is the Lord who has told me to be here and I fully trust Him to take care of me, financially and otherwise. But in accomplishing His purposes here on earth, God uses people to do His will, whether or not they even realize it.

Let me be the first to confess I live more comfortably than most of my neighbors.  Its funny how things like wealth are so relative.  With $250/month  I am rich here. 80% goes to the family I am staying with, as I live on their property, using their food, generator, transport, etc. The remaining $50 goes quickly to communication and food,  and things that make life easier like batteries.  I also give sometimes. Its challenging because I see so many more physical and financial needs that I can possibly meet.  Like Julia and Sergio…it would be nice to buy them a house but I don’t have the income to do that.  I can do things like buy my neighbor laundry detergent and soap.  Or Bibles.  I wish we could give every literate person in church a bible.   

 It was really refreshing to go to South Africa but financially it set me back about $500 which was spent on transport, my visa, communication, and supplies.  Renewing my visa is another costly thing that needs to be done.  While in South Africa it cost me $100 to get a one month visa.  Clearly I would like to get a longer residential visa for 6 months and it will probably be at least a few hundred dollars.   So getting a visa is another place my money is going. 

It has been my privilege to be here in Mozambique for more than 3 months now.  But in  order to be here I am dependent on generous givers.  I am asking for funds so I can live here and have things like some variety in my high carb diet, or have enough money to have internet access so I can do things like communicate with my family and friends, write a blog, etc. Please give me money.  I need your help just to be here. 

If you would like to give go to: http://www.razoo.com/story/Beloveinc?referral_code=share

or visit beloveinc.org. for more information about BeLove, the organization I"m working with.  

Thanks!

A forced vacation

I was traveling 300 miles two Fridays ago, in hopes of getting another stamp on my passport, prolonging my visa for another 30 days.  Instead I was told I must leave the country immediately…as my visa expired on October 2^nd and it was already September 30^th.  I had spent 90 days in the country on a tourist visa and it was time to go. I was already unhappy about spending 8 hours in a cramped vehicle that day just to go to Maxixe and back and the news of having to leave country just added to the frustration.  As we (Andre, the translator came with me) were heading home the Lord changed my heart, assuring me that leaving the country and having a break in South Africa would be for my good.  I became excited as I thought about people I could visit and all those comforts I’d have again, like a hot shower without boiling water and ice cream and cheese sandwiches.  I knew I could relax in a way that I can’t in Mozambique.

 I got home within an hour of sundown and didn’t even attempt to sleep until 3am when I was once again in a cramped vehicle headed to Maputo, Mozambique’s capital.  Ten hours and 700km later I was dismayed to find that Jaco’s friend, who I had hoped to stay with, was out of town.  Great, I’m a city I don’t know anything about.  The only thing I’ve really been told is to carefully watch my stuff as crime is common and I’m sure I’m an easy target- a confused malungu.  I took a taxi to a hotel, astounded by the prices of both; I talked the taxi driver down to 500 instead of 800 meticais ($1=27mets), and then spent $83 on the hotel room…which is a lot when you live off $250/mo. and you were told it should cost half that much.  I could be in the States at this price.   Fortunately the hotel was within 2 blocks of a greyhound bus station, so arranging transport for the following evening was easy. I made the most of 30 hours I spent in Maputo: ate at KFC, slept in, had a nice breakfast at the hotel, went to the beach that afternoon and had a far more comfortable over night bus ride to Johannesburg.

                                             View from hotel room in Maputo.

I’ve spent the last 10 days in South Africa, and I’m leaving for Mozambique tomorrow. It’s been nice to be in a developed nation again. To speak English. To have constant electricity.  To eat a vegetarian wrap with hummus- things you just don’t get in Mozambique.   It’s even been easier to pray here as well…there’s not the same spiritual darkness as in Vilanculos.  I’ve been staying with the Homan family that I met in Mozambique when they came out to do an outreach in July.  It’s been fun and relaxing to spend time with them and see how God is working in them and through them. They’ve taken good care of me…I even have Marcel’s room for the time I’m here.   I’ve visited a handful of other people too.  Last week I visited a couple, Barry and Helen who went on that same outreach in July…I have to say they spoiled me…I got a massage and probably the best bath of my life. Then I spent the next day with their granddaughter who accused me of “trying to trick her into praying” I thought that was hilarious. Helen and I prayed for Angie, the masseuse and we both see that the Lord has great things in store for her.   I had good conversations with them as well as their maid who was very interested in hearing about Mozambique.  The following evening I visited with some childhood friends; ate out and went to another friend’s house.  It was really nice to catch up. I also saw some people that I met last June in the World Cup outreach.  Chris Dirks’ family was a lot fun with young energetic kids and then also talking with Sammy who is sensing God’s leading in a new direction in his life.   God has truly blessed me with each encounter that I’ve had.  And I’m looking forward to a prayer meeting tonight.

                                           Lexy, who later said I tried to trick her into praying.