Zanele has a common problem

I met her last week in the market when she greeted me in English and we began to chat about this and that.  She’s from Swaziland (a small, English-speaking country neighboring Mozambique and South Africa), but married a Mozambican and has raised her family here as well.  She sells children’s clothes at a stall in the market.  She was excited to hear that I’m a Christian and urged me to come back because she wanted to “talk about Jesus” and her name is Zanele.  I only wish I had met her earlier.  Since last week she’s bought some things I’m getting rid of and more importantly I have had some good conversations with her.  She also makes sure to introduce me to other Christians working in the market.  She does love Jesus but is struggling with the issue of suffering…last year her first born died in a car accident and this year her second born was imprisoned.   So I had the privilege of sharing one of my favorite Scriptures with her, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.  For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5.

Zanele

God’s goodness, love, faithfulness, omnipotence, etc. is often in question when people experience difficulty, heart ache and suffering.  Often we feel insignificant, unloved or even abandoned by God while experiencing suffering and difficulty.  But you know what? Jesus never said “Follow Me and your life will be easy”.

Earlier today I was listening to sermon by Francis Chan and he was saying how people will say “There must not be a God because I am suffering like this…”And he responded “That’s right; there isn't a god who revolves around you, whose primary concern is your personal happiness and comfort, but there is a much bigger God who has His own purposes and is concerned about His own glory.”  Scripture clearly tells us that we were created by Him and for Him (Colossians 1:16), for His pleasure, not for Him to become our servant.  Chan also brought to light that many people have a man-centered theology in which God exists to help me, serve me, bless me instead of a God- centered theology in which I exist to serve God, obey God and please God.

That being said, suffering and experiencing pain is not fun or easy but often God uses these things to teach us.  James 1 tells us that we should consider our trials “pure joy” because it is through these trials that we learn and develop perseverance.  Psalm 119:71 says “It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.”   I think God allows so much difficulty in our lives to teach us- painful experiences can be valuable teachers, especially to stubborn people.  He allows adversity because he wants us to rise up, claim our God-given authority as daughters and sons, and fight in the spiritual realm.  It is also during times of difficulty that we become more aware of our own frailty and need for God; I think we’re more likely to cling to Him in times of difficulty than when circumstances are easy. In addition, He longs for us to run to Him to comfort us and restore us in times of hurt and pain.  He promises that He will not leave us nor forsake us- but whether or not we choose to believe Him is up to us.  We can choose to believe God and what his word says about suffering even when experiencing the most difficult things, or we can choose to follow our own understanding and claim God doesn't care because we don’t sense His love. We have to choose to believe and trust God despite difficulty.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, acknowledge in all your ways and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5&6

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts and neither are my ways your ways,” declares the Lord.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:8 &9

In closing, I want to share a faith story that impacted me greatly.  In September I met a young woman with a beautiful countenance named Sharon.  Her mother grew up in China, where no religion is allowed, and had been taught that God isn't real, and her heart was hardened toward God.   A few years ago, Sharon’s mother had cancer, and so Sharon prayed that God would heal her mother, and soften her heart so she would trust Jesus as her Savior and Lord.  Her mother died of cancer yet turned to God before she breathed her last breath.   In spite of her mother’s death, Sharon just said she had to trust and believe that God is good- that’s the key.

Sharon told me this in response to me expressing how I was carrying the heaviness of having a friend with AIDS who could easily die soon. I was trying to let go of the burden but just couldn't.  After sharing her story I could release the burden of my sick friend, and fully trust God with her life, whether she lived or died.  I feel like I “borrowed her faith”; seeing her faith and trust in God allowed me to take that next step of faith.

Come to Me all who are heavy laden and weary, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28.

My friend Elias

Two weeks ago I went to Beira to visit and to encourage my friend Elias (or Elijah in English).  In September he was in a terrible car accident in which he fell off his motorbike and then was run over by a car and shortly thereafter became unconscious.  When he woke up in hospital, both he and the doctors were amazed that he had survived especially considering the amount of blood he had lost and the damage to his head.  He couldn't breathe through his nose for two weeks which made eating complicated, and now, more than 6 weeks later, he still has limited circulation on the right side of his face and various physical limitations-mostly affecting his face.  Additionally, since the accident he and his family have also experienced difficulty; his brother was in a motorbike accident on his way to visit Elias in hospital, his niece recently died, he was robbed and therefore short on finances needed for food and missing a phone. Despite all this Elias continually thanks God that he is alive and trusts God, as he knows God alone spared his life.  Watching his faith through suffering has spoken volumes to me.  Truly he embodies Psalm 34:1, “I will extol the LORD at all times, his praise will always be on my lips.”

Elias is a Mozambican man with a vision to build an orphanage to take care of widows and orphans. I first met him in 2009, when I was on the World Race and he was our translator.  That’s when my teammates and I heard his vision and wanted to help him reach that goal. Since then, there has been correspondence and the first house was built in June this year. He wants to build small houses in which one widow and about six children will live. Currently no one lives in the house though, as it lacks furniture and there are still a handful of needs that must be met in order to be up and running. Due to his accident and unfortunate events as well as his very active church involvement, he hasn't been able to focus on the orphanage.

  When I was in Beira with Elias he stressed to me that funding was major obstacle that kept  him from getting things off the ground and running. He has talked to the local government who is willing to assist with food for the orphanage once there is evidence of consistent finances required to take care of kids.  He also wants to get sowing machines for the widows thereby allowing them to make their own money and financially contribute to the homes as well.

 Unfortunately there are several widows and orphans throughout Mozambique who lack the ability to adequately provide for themselves and are reliant on others.   As a result, there is a big need for orphanages here in Mozambique.  I know of a handful of orphanages in various parts of Mozambique, but Elias is the only Mozambican I know of who wants to build an orphanage; every other orphanage I know of was established and is run by Westerners.  There is definitely nothing wrong with foreigners helping, but I think it is special to have a Mozambican who wants to help his own people in this way.  It excites me to see a Mozambican with a passion to help his country and people, as opposed to the victim mentality of we’re suffering and you, rich, foreigner should help.

Elias standing outside the Children's home. 

If you would like to encourage or help Elias, you can email him: eliasdomingosbene@yahoo.com.br    Or if you would like to give go to: http://www.razoo.com/story/Beloveinc?referral_code=share and make sure to indicate it is for Elias. 

In closing, this was one of my most memorable moments in Beira:

“It’s not much further”, Elias assured me as I followed him in the unfamiliar path in the dark of night.  After perhaps 5 minutes of walking I was already out of breath but told myself “Don’t stop again, just keep going…the sooner we arrive the better, and then I can drop this awkward, heavy thing.”  By leaning back I held the 25 kg (over 50 lb.) bag on my stomach and hips, which was a better option than carrying it on the head, like locals or over the shoulder, like Elias was doing.   It was uncomfortable: my lower back was starting to hurt, the bag was beginning to slip through my grip and there was a carpet burn-like sensation on the inside of my elbows.  A challenging 10 minute (~ 1/4 mile) walk, but I eagerly did it because I knew Elisa and her grandchildren would now have something to eat, something to eat for the next few months.  Even though I couldn't clearly see her face because it was dark, there was no disguising the excitement and thankfulness upon receiving the food. We were immediately thanked with a new and strange fruit called coração do boi (heart of a bull, somehow the name seemed fitting for the accomplished task). You see, buying the food was easy; carrying it was not.  I learned about sacrificial love by carrying the 25 kg bag of rice: my momentary inconvenience and discomfort brought nourishment to the hungry.  I couldn't help but to reflect on Jesus’ sacrifice: how much greater was his pain and suffering to bring a much greater gift of eternal life.  

You haven't seen a pothole until you've seen and experienced a Mozambican pothole. This is the main road that leads to/from Beira..believe it or not there have been substantial improvements in road conditions since I was in Beira in February...so potholes like these were far less frequent than before. 

Let's pray for Mozambique

In my last blog I encouraged people to pray for life, hope and healing because there is so much death and sickness in Mozambique. 

Here are some other things that would be good to pray for:

·       Strong committed marriages and families instead of adultery, polygamy, sexuality outside of marriage, unwanted children, abuse, abandonment and neglect.

·       Work ethic, entrepreneurs, supernatural provision, personal responsibility, wisdom in allocation of resources aka good stewardship instead of poverty, laziness, dependence on others, false entitlement squandering finances

·       Men and women of integrity, especially those in government, education and business, instead of corruption

·       Teachable minds and spirits characterized by a desire to learn and achieve greatness instead of ignorance and lack of or limited education.

·       Justice, truth, wisdom, action, empowerment, leadership instead of oppression, poverty, hegemony, fatalistic mentality, deception

·       The Truth who brings freedom instead of religious deception especially among 1. Muslims 2. Works-based interpretation of Christianity 3. Animistic beliefs and witchcraft.

·       Prophetic Purpose and Divine Destiny, hope, joy, and motivation instead of  oppression, ignorance, poverty, hopelessness, depression, lack of goals or achievement, victim mentality

There are also several foreign aid organizations that help Mozambicans. In Vilanculos alone we have: Joint Aid Ministries (JAM), CARE, Peace Corps, Unicef, USAID, Welt Hunger Fund, the Salvation Army, CCS-Italian aid group, African Impact, and several churches too.  These groups help in all kinds of areas from providing food and housing to education, to healthcare and even starting girls’ soccer.  Pray that they would help meet needs and promote personal responsibility and ownership of projects, independence, empower individuals, create jobs etc., rather than dependence, false entitlement, and a victim mentality.  

Sometimes it seems like efforts to help Mozambicans fall through a slotted spoon; aid is being poured out yet despite their best efforts people still lack at the end of the day.  Pray that these organizations would indeed teach people to fish rather than give them fish, and that they would have the wisdom to discern the difference between the two. Also pray for blessing and encouragement for foreign aid workers here. 

Obituaries and more

A lot of people die in Mozambique. In fact, yesterday (21 October) I went to the funeral of the third person I know of who has died this month.  Since returning to Mozambique in July someone has died each month…almost like clockwork.  Even though death is the inevitable given affecting every person on the planet, I think the rate at which people die here reeks of diabolical interference.    God is revealing to me that there is a spirit of death operating and thriving in Mozambique.  Here are some reasons why I say that- life expectancy is usually about 45-50 years old.  138/1000 children die before they turn five…and Mozambique has one of the highest infant and child mortality rates in the world.  When I returned in July, someone asked me if my parents were still alive.  I said “Yes” and thought “What a strange question” Then I remembered most Mozambicans don’t live to be as old as my parents.

Although AIDS kills many in Mozambique and sub Saharan Africa, Malaria remains the leading recorded cause of death in Mozambique.  Other contributing factors include but aren’t limited to: poor sanitation, malnutrition, poor health care system, lack of resources- doctors, nurses, hospitals, clinics, medical supplies and drugs, mosquito nets, inadequate medical training and knowledge, ignorance of basic hygienic principles (like wash hands after going to the bathroom and limited use of soap), unclean water, many parasites and harmful bugs characteristic of undeveloped areas, many rats, lack of access to health facilities especially in rural areas, depression, alcohol abuse, poverty, cyclones, floods, draughts, traffic accidents, etc.

Here’s a list of the people I am aware of that died since last September- in the last 13 months:

*Thinus- South African man in his 50s, was hit by a truck while riding his bicycle.- Sept. 2011

*Maria’s son (Maria was my neighbor in Ngalumwe, when I lived a few miles outside of town).  He was in his twenties and either he was drunk or hit by a drunk driver…I just know that drinking and a vehicle were involved.  Sept. 2011

*Ismael’s mom died.  Ishmael is a church member, and his mother was in her 40s or 50s. Cause of death unknown.  Oct. 2011.

*Claudina, another neighbor in Ngalumwe, was in her last month of pregnancy when her baby stopped moving.  We prayed over her womb but the baby was lost. This was her second miscarriage and the first pregnancy also ended within a few weeks of the due date.  She feels that there’s a demon in her womb killing her children.  November 2011

*Maria’s 3 year old granddaughter (who lived with her) died of malaria.  I will never forget that day when all of a sudden we heard people whaling loudly- we knew someone had died.  January 2012

*Vovo Beka-another neighbor in Ngalumwe- her uncle Jeremias died.  He was older and sickly- the first one of the list where death was not a surprise ~March 2012.

*Clementina-I wrote a blog about her in July entitled Tangerine..July 2012  Her sister Elisa who lives in the same house is depressed and afraid that the evil spirit that got her sister will take her out too.

*Jeremias- another neighbor in Ngalumwe in his forties, who died suddenly and unexpectedly, leaving his 10 year old daughter (Arina- one of my favorites  and wife behind. He was always so joyful and friendly. Also Vovo Beka’s nephew. August 2012 

*Louisa- Vovo Beka’s sister who had a disgusting and cumbersome sore on her foot, like a huge blood blister that kept her from walking…twice she was taken to the hospital to have it removed and twice it returned.   Honestly, I thought she would outlive her sister Beka- since both were elderly, impoverished, and weak. It seems to me Vovo Beka is alive because she wants to be; she has a desire to live which is something Louisa seemed to lack. September 2012

*Philip-South African living in Maputo.  Has Mozambican wife- Bela and an active 3 year old son and a newborn.  I would usually stay with them when traveling to South Africa and back.  I always felt welcomed and taken care of with them.  He was 46, large, stereo-typically  South African enjoying  red meat, rugby and cricket.  He had gone on a diet and lost weight but that didn't ultimately matter.    He had a sudden heart attack   Oct. 2012

*An uncle of the family I’m staying with now earlier this month.

*Tina’s  22 year old cousin named Gina had cerebral malaria…she was very sick, then mentally ill (became mute and started imitating animals) for about 2 weeks and died after a few days in the hospital.   At her funeral I learned that her 8 year old sister died the year before.  Also, 6 out of 7 of Tina’s siblings have died.

Another friend of mine, Marlene is 16 and I've known her for a few months, but it wasn't ‘til last week that she told me her biological mother had died in childbirth in 2008 (with her would have been sibling) and the mother that I had met was her step mother.         

Do you see why I say there’s a spirit of death operating in Mozambique?   I know many more people in America than I do here, yet I've never known of so many deaths within 13 months.   Were all these deaths influenced by Satan and/or his minions? Probably not but I think it would be foolish to assume that none of them were.   He can’t create diseases or depression or poor health care but He is the ultimate opportunist- attaching to problems and prolonging them.

As I was making this list one thing stood out to me: no Jesus for Africa church member has died.   God’s protection?

You know what the best part of this blog is?  You can actually make a difference and pray for life and healing in Jesus Name over Mozambique.

Here’s my list of people rescued from death:

1 1.     Tomas- a 4 year old boy who could have been the poster child for starvation and malnourishment.  I've never seen anyone so skeletal in my life.  No one wanted him.  His parents separated and one parent went to a witch doctor to help him/put a curse on him (depending who is telling the story) and then left him for the other’s family to take care of (the other parent is in South Africa).   He was terribly sick and couldn't really eat…but that changed.  After getting parental permission demons were cast out, he was hospitalized to get medical attention necessary, and now the child actually has cheeks on his face.  July/August 2012

2 2.    Julia.  When I left for Maputo and South Africa I wondered if she would survive the next three weeks and how I would hate to miss her funeral.  She was so weak and pathetic.  Lying on her mat in the shade, with little strength to do anything else.  Her husband had stopped working to stay home and take care of her.  She was connected to an organization that distributes medication and food, but it was obvious she would need an act of God to survive.   Hopeless AIDS victim.   But God did answer prayer and in His mercy healed her body.  When I visited last week it was like seeing a brand new person.  She greeted me loudly from a distance…I had heard she improved but that’s when I knew it was true.  She wasn't sickly and confined to her mat- she was up and moving and cooking and it was obvious she had been working in the machamba (field) and was preparing to plant peanuts after the next rain.  She couldn't stop smiling and she knew that God had healed her. This week her blood test came back positive- so she still has AIDS. But that fact that she’s not dead and is physically active and energetic –and able to do normal things again is definitely from the Lord  October 2012

33.      Elias - A Mozambican friend living in Beira was in a terrible accident last month. He was on a motorcycle and was hit by a car…apparently it was a very ugly scene in which he lost a substantial amount of blood and was expected to die. I talked with him on the phone today and I don’t think I've ever heard someone so excited to be alive.  Despite going through this difficulty  he knows God spared his life and is so grateful.  He said even doctors commented “You have a great God because you’re still alive…you should have died”

Do you know what the best part of this blog is?  You can actually make a difference and pray for LIFE and HEALING in Jesus Name over Mozambique.

We need more stories like Tomas, Elias, and Julia’s.

 Jesus came to bring abundant life, not premature death. God alone can bring supernatural healing in so many hopeless hearts and circumstances.

Please pray for healing, life, hope and the opposite of everything listed in the second paragraph.  Also pray for those mourning the loss of their loved ones.  And encouragement for Elisa and Vovo Beka- both are alone and have lost dear ones.

Prayer is so powerful.  If you are a born again follower of Christ you have the privilege and responsibility to bring Life and Truth to the dying world around you.  God could snap his fingers and instantly heal all diseases, feed all the hungry, shelter the homeless, save all the lost, etc.  but instead  God uses us.  We are seated with Christ in the heavenly realm (Eph. 2:6), above powers and principalities.  We inherit all power and authority through Christ- and because He has already died- we now have that inheritance- all we have to do is believe it and claim it.  He wants us to share in His authority!  He wants us to make a difference- in the physical and in the spiritual realm.  So boldly and authoritatively pray in Jesus Name (the Name above all names, the ultimate authority) for LIFE and HEALING knowing that you are his ambassadors on the earth.  Your words have the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21)…use them wisely. 

Jesus loves the little children...

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.    James 1:27

Once again I found myself in South Africa in need of a new visa.    But coming to a developed nation with more choices, variety, and hospitable English speaking friends, which happens to be the land of my birth is always a welcome and refreshing break.

 Recently I've been blessed to be part of a different type of ministry: taking care of orphans.  I've visited two Iris Ministries Children’s Homes in the last few weeks.  Zimpeto Children’s Home is in Maputo (Mozambique’s capital) and is home to 270 kids.  It’s a very well-run operation with more than 30 missionaries from all over the world, many Mozambican staff and over 700 visitors annually.  There were about 20 visitors when I visited at the end of September.  It has a very peaceful and laid-back feel in which visitors are encouraged to minister to the kids, participate in various ministries around town, but also to connect with God and rest.  In Zimpeto I did get to know some children and help out but, really I see my time there as a gift from God because He used it to refresh me.  I was blessed by new friendships with my roommates from California and other visitors; it was so nice to have an edifying community.  What was most memorable however, was the night some of the Iris Missionaries prayed for me and then a healing conversation that followed.  It’s like they just prayed away all this crap that I had been carrying- some things I was aware of, others I wasn't.

Here are some pictures ….

I spent a lot of time with these two girls in Zimpeto. 

These are two of the cooks at Zimpeto, part of the team that feeds about 300 people each day.  They are sorting finely ground peanuts that will be added to a sauce with finely ground leaves and other ingredients.  This is a very common way for Mozambicans to eat peanuts.  I had a good conversation with Joyce, on the left. 

Vamos jogar basquet (Let's play basketball). It made me smile to find a girls basketball team practicing.  After soccer, basketball is the second most popular sport in Mozambique. 

The day after I left the Zimpeto Base I met a Mozambican on the bus to Johannesburg who had grown up in Zimpeto.  He invited me to another Iris Base outside of Johannesburg called Footprints PLAY (participating the lives of Africa’s youth).  This Children’s Home has a “homey” or family-like feel and  has about 30 kids.  The director (who the kids call “Mommy”) explained that giving kids the necessities of food, clothing, a bed etc. is good but she desires to personally know the kids, counsel them, and build strong, confident kids. To do this, it must stay relatively small.  There’s about 10 full time staff- South Africans and foreigners and they benefit from the help of visitors as well.   I enjoyed connecting with these kids.

I spent most of my time at the "Baby House" filled with kids ages 3 and under. They were a lot of fun, very energetic...and sometimes got into trouble too. 

My Next Step

There are two things I’ve been praying for regularly.  One is a husband.  The other is my next step.

 

I came to Vilanculos more than one year ago because the Holy Spirit told me to come.  When I first visited Vilanculos in 2009, I specifically remember sensing the Lord’s leading to come back and reach out to the women here.  So since July 2011  (excluding my sojourn to America in May and June)I have been living in Vilanculos, building relationships with people, telling Bible stories to locals, praying a lot too.  Most people claim Christianity and may go to church but have minimal understanding of Christ and the Scriptures.  My heart is to see people grow and mature in their faith, because the majority of believers are “baby Christians”.   Leading Christians into spiritual maturity is my primary focus and purpose in ministry here in Vilanculos. 

I’ve built relationships with people here, taught them the Word, and prayed like crazy (with more frequency, passion, and authority).  God has also taught me more about my dependence on Him and as well as my authority in Christ to battle the evils I encounter. But to be honest my time here has been very trying and testing.  Personally, the most difficult thing has been the lack of community; I am and feel very alone in what I do. I don’t have co-laborers: people that I actually work with.  Even though right now there are two South African families that I “work with” in theory, I don’t really work with them.  This and many other factors have caused me to ask the Lord “how long I should be here?”  In March I started questioning and asking the Lord about being here and staying here, and in May He gave me peace about being here through December. My thoughts of leaving are not new or sudden but rather a gradual process that has developed over many months.  Therefore I plan to leave Vilanculos in December, and trust the Lord to guide me into the next step.  If you have questions about me leaving, feel free to ask.

However, one thing I know is that the Lord has called me to missions with my life. He has called me to the nations; my heart longs to be overseas.  Exactly what shape or form that will take is uncertain and may change.  I am looking for an organization that would be a good fit for me to partner with long term.  I would like to partner with an organization that has been established for a while that has already learned from years of experience.  Other characteristics I’m looking for include: a solid biblical foundation and values, integrity,  good leadership, accountability, community, goal- oriented, emphasis on discipleship and training local leaders, takes care of their missionaries, prepares and trains missionaries, expect and promote spiritual growth, dependence on the Holy Spirit, and lovers of God .

I’m looking into various mission organizations and opportunities.  On Saturday I’m planning to visit Iris Ministries’ children’s home in Maputo (Mozambique’s capital).    I’m also considering working with YWAM and have met the Brazilian YWAM staff that runs the base in Maputo.  Cru is another organization as well that has potential as I worked with them before.  So I am looking and am open to suggestions. I’ve also thought about studying theology and/or counseling.  I also know whatever I do, I’ll probably have to raise funds to do it as well.

I feel like the Lord has released me from being here and I’m in a weird period of transitioning out.  I deeply care for those I have grown close to but often I feel ready to leave.  I’m not planning to come back to Vilanculos- and depending on what the Lord has in store- I may not come back to Mozambique, but I think I will return to Africa at some point.  I’ve also been thinking about California, Argentina, and my curiosity about Brazil has been stirred as I’ve learned more about Brazil just being here- through Brazilians and media. Nothing is certain at this point, but it’s all in God’s hands.  Please pray that the Lord would make obvious His path for me and give me patience in the process.

I am content to go wherever He sends me. 

What do you do?

What do you do when you find out that one of your friends has AIDS?

Yes AIDS- the disease that kills millions of sub-Saharan Africans annually.

http://www.thisissierraleone.com/2012-world-hiv-report-sub-saharan-africa-hardest-hit-by-hiv-with-23-5-million-hiv-positive-people-in-2011-about-69-percent-of-the-global-total/

The link above has quick stats about AIDS around the world.  1.4 million or 11.5% of Mozambicans have AIDS.  If this is accurate, I know several people with AIDS (1/10 people I meet)- I just don't know that they have it.

So what do you do when AIDS is no longer that terrible disease that happens to "others", but someone you know and love has it?

Pray? Cry? 

Do what you can to connect them to a program distributing food and medication but still feel hopeless as you leave.

Trust God and walk away? 

Question God and walk away?

Curse God and walk away?

 (You must walk away at some point- you can’t stay forever)

Do I fully believe the words I utter, that God loves you?   

 Yes I do- but there’s so much I don’t understand.  God, don’t you see how much it hurts?

 But now I see why you, who has been sick on and off since I returned in July, have a hard time believing and accepting God’s love.

In this I’ve seen sacrificial love. Self-less love.  They’re “married”.  By that I mean they live together and called themselves married, without a formal or legal covenant (which by the way, is how most marriages are defined here (in Vilanculos), except there’s usually children too).  She has AIDS.  Apparently she had it before they “got married” and she told him.  So they’ve never actually been intimate…which explains why he is healthy and she is weak.  He hasn’t been working the last few weeks. He’s stayed home to take care of her.   It’s obvious that he loves her….his actions demonstrate affection in a way words cannot.  Few Mozambican men would do this.  Few men from any culture would do this.  He aches and weeps for her.

Will God heal?

A Mozambican Prayer.

I was recently in Maputo, the largest city and also the capital of Mozambique.   On September first there was large meeting in which many churches and other Christian organizations gathered to pray for Mozambique and hear from the Lord.  It was really powerful seeing them confess their personal as well as their country's sins, repent and believe God for renewal, hope and change.

One of the pastors speaking that day...there must have been at least 10 and they were rotating Scripture readings. 

 For me the most moving thing was one of the pastors standing up and publicly apologizing to his wife, on behalf of all Mozambican men who have wronged their wives in one way or another. He apologized for adultery, abandonment, laziness and several other vices.  He had only said a few words and many women around me started crying and then I started crying too.  It made a strong impact on me because I've seen how poorly women are treated here- and its hard to combat because there are historical and cultural roots with this problem.

Everyone prayed this prayer.  I think it gives a good general understanding of where Mozambique is in their relationship to God:

A day to bow before our God.  Mozambique bows before God. 1 September 2012

Let’s pray together: (everyone kneels)

O Lord, God Most High, Creator and Possessor of heaven and earth, we, the people of Mozambique acknowledge that we and our country have sinned against You in several ways, especially, but not limited to idol worship.  Instead of looking to You to satisfy our needs, at different points we have sought help from Satan.

We look to evil spirits for: rain, abundant harvests, children, health, progress, protection, direction, guidance, wealth, victory in war, and other innumerable blessings .  You have blessed us in more ways than we can count but we have not thanked you as God.  Countless times when we dedicate new buildings, bridges, roads, schools, etc. instead of thanking You, the Provider of all things, we look to priests of idols to mediate and make blood sacrifices to Satan and dedicate buildings to Satan. We dedicate ourselves, our wives and our children to the enemy in several ways, including but not limited to ceremonies such as welcoming a newborn, rites of passage, weddings, funerals, etc. We fear evil spirits, curses, witchcraft and dead family members more than we fear You. 

Instead of looking for Your direction, we regularly consult the dead and different evil spirits.  We enter into alliances with Satan through various methods and we turn our backs on You.  In arrogance our land declared, “There is no God.” 

  We have sinned against You in these and many other ways. Our sins include, but are not limited to the following:  Idolatry, the spilling of blood,  bribery,  corruption, atheism, assassinations, love of money, violence, rape, prostitution, bitterness, witchcraft, occultism, consulting dead ancestors, sexual sins, broken marriages, lack of the fear of God, sensuality, loving pleasure rather than loving God, disunity within the church, idolatry within the church, sins of occult in our lives, oppressing the poor and underprivileged, human sacrifice, human trafficking, slavery in modern day forms, drug abuse, selling of drugs, respect for tribal customs above the word of God,  lies, hypocrisy, false religion, illegality; etc.

Today we are guilty before You.

Today we declare the following:  We confess that we have established many altars to Satan throughout our country.  We repent for these altars.  We renounce all the altars of Satan established in our land.  We renounce all the evil alliances that we, our leaders and our country has made with Satan.  We renounce and we withdraw our submission to evil spirits to whom we were bound through these altars and alliances.

Today, we dedicate to You, our lives, our families, and the generations that have yet to come, forever.  To You we dedicate our nation and all of its resources.  By faith we form a New Alliance with You sealed by the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ.  We declare, “God is.”

Now and forever, we acknowledge you as our Creator, we honor you as our Father, we adore you as our God, we submit to you as our Lord and Savior, and we proclaim you our King.

Please forgive us our sins and heal our land according to your word. Please accept us and be our God.  Destroy all satanic foundations in our lives and nation.  Together we pray, “Our Father in heaven, Holy is Your name.  Your kingdom come and Your will be done in Mozambique as it is in heaven.  We declare that the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob is the God of Mozambique now and forever more.  Govern every area of our lives and our nation.  Let the knowledge of Your word cover our nation as waters cover the sea.  Open up the heavens above our land and bless us.” Amen. 

Watch your mouth!

Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.

James  1:26

I had two long bus rides on my way to Johannesburg, South Africa.  I had to go for my visa.

On the first from Vilanculos to Maputo I met a South African girl who lives in Tofu, another area on the Mozambican coast.  We chatted quite a bit about our lives and shared frustrations about living in Mozambique. 

The following night I was on a bus to Johannesburg, and as I tried to fall asleep I heard the (Portuguese) conversation around me.  They were talking about me and general frustrations they have with white people.  I felt hurt and judged before I was even given an opportunity to prove myself.  As I crossed the border I prayed, telling God I was upset by what had happened.

His response to me was hearing them complain about white people was no different than the night before when two girls were complaining about Mozambicans.

This surprised me.  It wasn’t until that moment that I even considered that our conversation could have been offensive to any hearers.  After thinking about this for 2 seconds I realized any Mozambican who understood our conversation would probably have been offended.

So turns out, when you ask God to reveal sin in your life to you, He does it.          

   

Over the last five years or so -one tiny step at a time- the Lord has taught me more about the importance of words and the power that they carry- to bless or curse- to bring life or death, to heal or to destroy.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.  Matthew 12:34

These types of verses make me glad I’m naturally not too talkative…but it still doesn’t mean that I am exempt from this problem.  As Matthew 12:34 points out, the hurtful things that come out of our mouths are really a reflection of our hearts.

A Time for Everything

“There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven:

 A time to be born and a time to die….a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance…

He has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the hearts of men…” Ecclesiastes 3:1-2,4,11.

I get to see many births and many deaths in Mozambique and I would bet there’s a higher percentage birth rate and death rate in Mozambique than in the States.  Somehow, here death is less shocking as it is more common, but it is still difficult and painful.

This morning (August 7^th) I found out that Jeremias died, and I went to his funeral this afternoon.   He was one of my neighbors during the first 8 months that I lived here. I know his wife, mother, brother, in- laws, nieces, nephews, aunts, etc.  I sat and cried with his daughter (9 or 10 years old) at the funeral.

He died on Monday.  Cause of death?  Maybe I can figure that out later.   He was in his late 30s or 40s.  He was friendly, good guy and I distinctly remember my last conversation with him.  It was in July and he greeted me warmly as I had recently returned from the States…it made me glad to be back.

Also, Carlota- the woman I wrote the “tangerine” blog about died last Wednesday when I was in South Africa.  I saw her a few times since I wrote the blog and she was hopeless. She had no will to live.  I think she briefly wanted to be better and then it was back to the same old “better dead” mentality. I’m telling you, she was a different woman the day she ate the tangerine.  She had hope.  I gave her another tangerine…she ate maybe one third of it…and hid the rest.  She refused to eat other food as well. 

From the first time I entered her house, I wondered if there were other factors (not just physical) contributing to her illness. Something just didn’t seem right. Her neighbor (my friend Tina) told me that prior to getting sick, she would walk around paranoid and would frequently try to hide though no one was chasing her.   I agree with locals who conclude that she was harassed by a bad spirit.

So lately it hasn’t been happy go lucky around here.  But you know what’s interesting; the Lord has reminded me of this since I started writing.  I know that the Lord wants me to spread his love to nations, and just in the last week He re-iterated being a heart- mender…and death often brings broken hearts and it’s in times of sorrow like death where I can embody the compassion of the Lord.

Food in Mozambique

“Estás gorda” (you’re fat) he told me after he welcomed me back home. (Apparently it was obvious that I had eaten well in South Africa).  Now in America that would be a clear insult but not around here.

 So why is being called fat not insulting?

“Estás gorda” was more like an observation with a positive connotation.  I visited a friend and with pride she showed me her chunky baby sister, as if to say “What a good, strong, healthy baby!”  When I lived in Venezuela a lady at church called me “gorda” as a term of endearment.

Living in Mozambique has changed me.

One aspect of change is my perspective of food.

I personally know people who are hungry.  Not I haven’t eaten in three hours hungry-but I haven’t had food in three days (not by choice) hungry.  These people have no body fat so starvation is not so far away. (Like Carlota in the tangerine blog). And so a few months ago when I saw TV commercials for Man versus Food I was so disturbed, wondering how eating enough for approximately 10 people becomes this virtuous feat.  The way they cheered when he entered the room, you’d think he climbed Mt. Everest or cured cancer.  No, he just eats a lot.

                                                           "American food"  I decided to use the first image that popped up on a search for both American food and Mozambican food.

Here in Mozambique, people eat to live.                                                                                                         Perhaps on rare occasions they will have something special, out of the ordinary.  Like chicken for a birthday party.  But in the States people eat whatever they feel like. Even if you subsist on food stamps, you have far more variety and selection in food than 90% of Mozambicans I’ve met.  On second thought, make that all Mozambicans, because American grocery stores are substantially bigger (therefore have more variety) than those in Mozambique.

"Mozambican Food" matapa..looks like its with cassava. 

You see- its only being here that I’ve realized I’ve never been truly hungry.  I’ve never been malnourished or anywhere close to starving.  If I choose not to eat, it’s because I’m fasting.  Sometimes I’m naturally hungry, but I’ve never wondered if I could afford to eat.  I might not have known exactly where I’d eat or what I’d eat…but there’s always rice.  There’s no way my Mozambican friends (and even strangers, I’d be willing to bet) would let me go hungry.  I’ve also realized how much I eat for reasons other than hunger- whether it’s out of habit or pleasure or emotion.  I definitely spurge on occasion, eating like an American: at a restaurant, or buy expensive things (by Mozambican standards) like cheese or a box of cereal or ice cream.

For many Mozambicans that I know and regularly visit- food is one of their most valuable resources; which is why eating whatever they offer me is one of the best ways for me to honor, love and accept them.  Just last week as I was visiting Julia and Sergio they killed a small goat early that morning and so after our Bible Study I ate a goat leg and xima (like cornmeal).  I actually really enjoyed the meal and felt honored by the gesture.  When it comes to eating unusual foods, I can be paranoid and worry about the unsanitary conditions that the food was prepared in, or focus on different flavors I don’t like, or humbly and gratefully receive what has been offered, and thank God that I can eat just about anything.

Tangerine

The highlight of my day (Friday) was watching Carlota eat a tangerine.

Why? What’s so special about eating tangerines?

I visited Carlota on Tuesday.  She was starving. It seemed clear that she would starve to death- this old, feeble woman who was too weak to move and speak, and refused to swallow porridge.  She seemed to have lost her will to live.  Her friends and relatives refused to take her to the hospital.  Death was spoken over her from all sides.   She was waiting to die.

On Tuesday Danie and Wendy (South African missionaries) and I saw Carlota and we discussed what to do with this person who would probably die soon.  We prayed for her and decided to visit her every day (I would alternate days with Danie and Wendy), try to feed her and encourage her, and pray that she would come to know the Lord before she dies.

She was still very feeble when I visited her Wednesday morning, but already a little stronger and more energetic. 

So today when I saw her feed herself that tangerine I couldn’t help but smile in awe and excitement.  I don’t think I’ve ever taken as much joy watching somebody eat.  I could see God’s hand at work as well.  After she ate I started to pray.  God was there.  It was beautiful.  It was so obvious to me that the Spirit of the Living God was there (definitely the most I’ve sensed the Lord’s presence since returning to Mozambique).

 I was humbled and amazed.

“How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty!  For my soul longs and even faints for you…”  Psalm 84:1&2

I marveled at how the flea infested soil beneath my legs in this puny reed shelter had transformed into the sanctuary of the Most High.  I didn’t want to leave.

Surely the Lord uses the simple and foolish things of the earth to confound the wise and display his glory.  1 Corinthians 1:26-29

Every day Mozambique

This is Nely.  I rent a room from her in-laws.  She is has a 2 year old son, takes care of almost everything in the house, and goes to high school at night.  She is grinding beans...a very common chore for Mozambican women. 

Nely's son...looks just like his daddy.  He's mischievous and loves bicycles. 

This is church.  Pastor Danie is teaching.  Andre interprets from English to Portuguese, and there's another person to interpret from Portuguese to Xitswa. 

Tina and I meet weekly. She works as a maid at a hotel to provide for her 5 children and aging parents.  She also really enjoys cooking and is good at it.  We're about to eat fried fish and rice.   Guess what she asked me to bring her from the States.  A blanket.  It cools down to the 50s at night in June and July and Mozambicans get quite cold. 

Tina's oldest, Stelio is about to score a goal.  Their house is to the left of this sand road. 

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A normal rural Mozambican home. small house, storage area above  the ground, shade-giving tree and machamba (field).

My time in America

I cant believe that I've been in the USA almost 8 weeks.  My time is up.  In less than 48 hours I will board a plane taking me to South Africa and a few days later I’ll head to Vilanculos, Mozambique. I feel like my time here has just flown by, especially coming from slow-paced Mozambique. 

 Here are a few words that describe my time in the States:

 Fun. Relational. Memorable. Special. Busy. Variety. Efficiency. English (only). Relaxing. Stressful. Shopping. Many purchases. Food. Cereal. Cinnamon toast crunch. Meat. Milk. Sweets. Mexican. Chinese  Driving. Clean feet. Air conditioning. Cooler weather. Family. Friends. Relationships. Love. Atlanta. Marietta. Washington D.C.  NYC. Encouraging. Hiking. Tennessee. Maryland. Americus. Liberty Church.  Abundance. Blessed.  Hard-working. Tall trees. Wedding. Multicultural. Hectic.  Brazilians. Bolkim Meadows. Legal documents. Visas. Money. Prayer. Songs. Joy. Connection. Peace. Planning. Homeless yet Spirit–filled.  Movies. Abundant internet. Computer (dead & new). Hope. Precious people. Discovery. Community. Fellowship. Belong. Bargain-hunting. Portuguese Bibles. Bacterial infection. Pills. Museums. Spies. American flags. Huge roads. Famous places. Consumerism. Materialism. Headaches. Hot showers.  Friendship. Gifts. Receiving. Stories.

 I want to highlight a few of my favorite moments in the last few months.  Much of what I did was re-connect with family and friends.  It was special to visit each of my siblings where they live and connect with them.  I enjoyed staying with my parents in Georgia and visiting many people from church.

I had a Mozambican Open House, with pictures, food and stories about my time in Mozambique.  I was dressed like a typical Mozambican woman- with a capulana (wrap skirt) and head scarf.   The next picture from the open house has food and drinks including hot tea, tang, water, baji (made from bean and spices, then deep fried) , bolo (fried sweet dough), coco cookies.

I also was able to visit all of my siblings and spend time with them. 

My sister Sonya was helping make baji. 

 This is Felicity and her husband Ian.  They just celebrated their first anniversary yesterday. 

My brother Isaac and I.  It was good to visit him in Tennessee and go hiking together. 

Also I was a bridesmaid in Laura’s wedding. She’s a friend from college and I’m so excited for her as she enters this new part of life.

The last 2 weeks in Washington D.C., where BeLOVE headquarters are I’ve been staying at the

 “Haverkos hotel” and enjoying my time reconnecting with other world racers  

 (friends on the same mission trip in 2009-10). It's been fun and also spiritually significant and encouraging. 

Becky and her son Matt. Becky and her husband Dan opened their house to us and also started 

 BeLOVE Inc., (the organization I'm with).